• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.

[Other Original] The Enchanted Maze [SWC - GT - 2023]

46
Posts
1
Years
  • Spoiler:


    This is my SWC Entry for the GT - 2023. It's a bit rushed, because I was too busy and tired all the days before to start writing. I had to make a whole new idea, because my old one would have been even harder to write with the limited amount of time I had. At the last day I began writing this piece all night whilst I was tired and my head hurt, but I didn't let that stop me to finish this piece for my team. I also went to work the next day with only one and a half hours of sleep. So just a heads-up, it's rushed and my first language isn't english but german. The story has a total of 4022 words. I'm also thinking about actually making this story chaptered later on with time, so my whole planning process could be understood better. I still hope you will enjoy this piece despite all of it's flaws.
     

    Aquacorde

    ⟡ dig down, dig down ⟡
    12,508
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • yknow it's kinda funny- one of my concepts for this prompt was also a maze haha. i didn't go through with mine, but it's neat to see how you took it on!

    There are some parts that are difficult to read due to lack of paragraph spacing- especially when there is dialogue. The general rule is that if there's a new speaker, there should be a new paragraph. :) There are also some confusing grammar and vocabulary choices, but I understand English isn't your first language. Improvement in those areas comes with practise and time!

    You took on some really complex plot elements- riddles and mysteries are pretty difficult to write well imo. It also managed to feel like a whole big adventure within a relatively small piece, which is impressive. The sense of magic was very strong throughout! But I feel like we spent a lot of time just wandering around the maze without advancing the plot, and the build-up was extensive for a rather short final confrontation. The pacing is somewhat off, I guess. I think the payoff would have been more satisfying to me if there were more hints and details about Oliver and Ophelia throughout the whole adventure. Ultimately, I think the way you descibe such a magical and ethereal place is one of the strongest things about this piece :)

    Regardless, I think there are a lot of interesting ideas in here that would shine even more with more time and a chaptered format! As fun as SWC is, it does limit us in a way. :) I'm impressed that you did so much within the time given~
     
    Back
    Top