{Teen} Severed Grounds- A Pokemon Sierra Nuzlocke Comic

[godo156]

Woops I dropped off of the face of this site again. I hope I can change that. Anyway, I present to you a new comic I recently (since yesterday) began.

About Severed Grounds

Spoiler:

Severed Grounds (SG) takes place in an alternate pokemon world where the regions are mysteriously levitating in the skies due to unknown as of yet reasons. Because of that, the people had to adapt and develop the technology needed to traverse the skies much earlier. Since then, they have invented engines that run on steam and oxygen, made sky boats, blimps, and planes at a quicker pace than the normal world would have.
SG takes place in the 1980's, a time before Pokeball technology, but after the age of Apricorns. This is the age of Capsules. Pokemon are treated like the other times, some are pets, others tools, others traveling companions and much much more.
Also in this time frame, scientist have developed and mass produced medicine that can unlock the hidden potential of humankind, ranging from simply giving one access to their own little pocket of space to store objects with their mind, to giving the consumer of the medicine the power of fire from their very own fingertips. These are dangerous, though and many do not take the medicine because of the risks of losing sanity or their lives.
The only region not suspended into free air is known as Hoenn. As always, no one really knows why it is the only one left below, but some speculate because of the ties the region has to the earth and the seas...
SG takes place in the region of Voultan, a modern and robust country known for being a famous trade route and pokemon unique only to this land.

Outside of Plot Stuffs, SG is based on my playthrough of Pokemon Sienna, a rather well done hack here on Pokecommunity, and [REDACTED], a fangame also from here that you'll learn the name of when it becomes relevant to the story. So a round of applause to them and the creators, for making awesome fanworks for us to play! I maaaay change some plot things though, sorry if it's not a complete following of the games.

Rules

Spoiler:

1. Only one pokemon can be caught in an area/route
a. Dupes clause in effect
2. If a pokemon faints, it is considered dead and must be sent away to a box
3. All pokemon must be nicknamed.

Warnings

Spoiler:

This comic contains:
-Swearing
-Violence
-Blood
-Shenanigans
-LGBTQA themes
-Steampunk and related -punk themes
-Religion
-Alcohol
-Etc.
-And more shenanigans

You have been warned.

The Comic

Spoiler:

(Pssst, the pages may be large. I apologise they were not so big to me when I was drawing and I am afraid resizing will reduce quality)
Part One

Spoiler:

Page One

Spoiler:

Bonus doodles and etc arts:

Spoiler:

Thoooough things have changed and will most likely change, this was my concept doodle of the fire starter's final evolution, the male form anyway (though female isn't much different besides like lack of the horns or more like stubs, and having an udder), along with the in-game sprite made by the creator of the hack, for comparison.

Fllllowwery fluffy llama-sheep-alpaca-thingy and it's evolution.

Lil' cute bomb bug (that I tried my best not to be like Kynim's Andy from her Myths of Unova comic :x )

Aaand a plain old Tailow.

These doodles aren't so much spoilers for later game stuff as they are just concepts involving an attempted playthrough of the game...before the save file got corrupted and unplayable. so expect things to change.

Updates will hopefully be on Wednesdays and Saturdays once a week until I can get some extra pages done for buffer, then it will go to the originally planned update schedule, but these days are not set in stone because I am not the fastest worker or a person of my word less often than I am one.

Thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous comic, it means alot, as well as comments, critique and them sorts of things.
Have a good day ouo

 

[Fairy]

Hi godo156, just keep in mind that you must have at least 4 examples of your art to have a gallery, so please update this to include another three pieces (they don't necessarily need to be pages of your comic, just your outline sketches for each panel or something would qualify) or I'll have to close this. :(

I'll give you some time to get your thread sorted though. When you get set up I'll definitely be reviewing this because your comic looks great so far!

Good luck. :)

 

[godo156]

Hi godo156, just keep in mind that you must have at least 4 examples of your art to have a gallery, so please update this to include another three pieces (they don't necessarily need to be pages of your comic, just your outline sketches for each panel or something would qualify) or I'll have to close this. :(

I'll give you some time to get your thread sorted though. When you get set up I'll definitely be reviewing this because your comic looks great so far!

Good luck. :)

Okay, thanks! Sorry, completely forgot about that rule..it's been forever since I came here :x
I'll get some doodles that I did a bit ago up as a bonus thing. Sorry again.

EDIT: added extra pics to amend for the broken rule.

 

[Fairy]

Haha, it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, even the veterans. ;) Glad you got everything uploaded!

I'm going to comment specifically on your comic. I consider myself somewhat of a comic enthusiast, so I'd like to think that gives me some ounce of credibility when it comes to critiquing comics of the digital variety (wow, that was a big way of saying "I don't know what I'm doing but I'll say it anyway" >_>).

Anyway, I very much like your text bubble placement. I feel like there's a good flow there that's easy to read and doesn't hurt the eyes. That said, I think you should darken (or lighten) the transparency in the box. Having so much visible drawing behind the text bubble makes me want to squint. Which, in this case, is honestly fine. But when you get to chapter 67 page 101, your audience will definitely be struggling.

I very, very much like the gradient you have in the background of the entire page too. Considering it begins in the early morning and progresses to a more "awake" time, having that transition between dark blue to orange-peach is very clever, in my opinion. Next, take the time to draw out the guidelines for each character in each panel. I can see pretty clearly that you thought about the female character's positioning in the beginning, but as it progresses your anatomy becomes a little more fluid. But, that may be intentional. Just remember that every panel counts! There's also some really great environmental details you've got going on that I really like. Like that chair. <3

Finally, in the third to last panel, the male character's hand is upside down and backwards. When someone is drinking something in that position, from the audience's perspective the thumb is on the bottom of the can/vessel with the fingers facing towards to reader. Not only that, but the panel before that has the character's left hand picking up the beer, but he's using his right hand to drink it. Your continuity is askew.

It's not that this kind of stuff is a total deal breaker though; because it certainly doesn't subtract from the story, which is what a comic is chiefly about. The art is just a means of conveying the story in a visual manor. Quite literally, illustrating it. That said, if you're going for a high quality, serious comic here, it's those details that you need to be mindful of. So there's some food for thought!

Overall, I think you've got a lot to offer us here, and I very much look forward to reading more. I think the characters are an interesting take on some of the more conventional comics we see here (when we get them) so please keep going! I'd love to see how this progresses. Good luck!