Other people have it worse so don't complain

Alfieri

Alfieri

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    What do you think of this remark? Have you ever told someone this when they complain about having a rough life? Have you ever been hit by this?

    I've seen people who complain about hating the world because no one understands them and that everyone is shit. Then someone tells them that meanwhile other people have no food to eat or no home to live in so don't complain and then the person complaining gets furious. Is it justified? Should they really care if other people have it worse? Are they not allowed to complain just because other people have it worse?
     
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    Well, as someone who has experience with people with people who are mentally unstable, never say this. Of course someone has it worse, doesn't mean that they don't have problems though. People have only their experiences as a measurement, so it's unfair to project the problems of other people on them. People really do have problems, and different people react to different problems differently. Different.
     
    You cannot compare emotions because they're such an abstract, subjective thing. Saying that some child in Africa is starving whilst you're whining isn't helpful to not only the person you're saying it to, but also to the child in Africa. Are they going to be any better if you decide to appreciate your own life? I don't really think so. Are you going to feel any better that your suffering is considered less important in comparison to another person's? I don't think so either.

    The reason people say this is a botched attempt to put things in perspective. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the message of trying to be grateful for what you have, and appreciate your life. It's a nice message. But saying it this way just comes across as being kind of a jerk, to be honest. What makes people appreciate their lives isn't being told that some faceless person somewhere far away is suffering. It's seeing that suffering, and experiencing it. Near death experiences, or going through hell, it makes us appreciate what we once had, or what we still have. Words are meaningless in this regard.

    So what I'm saying is that it is never good to depreciate anyone's suffering. When I am told this, I just want to punch whoever said it in the face. At the time, when I'm feeling strong negative emotions, I can't care for some distant person far away. And I'm sure that distant person far away doesn't care about me either. Eventually, I'll get over the immediate response of whatever's bothering me. Everyone does at some point. But during that moment, I don't want to hear that. Understanding and patience is a better response.
     
    Never question someone when they say they have it hard, I don't care if people have it worse. Does that mean I can't be happy, even though people out there have it so much better than me? Doesn't make much sense, does it.
     
    Good responses so far. Glad to see people respect other's struggles instead of belittling them.
     
    I don't like it. I mean, I get that people may have it worse than me... yes. It's just that to me, people don't know me enough to judge whether my life is worse than anyone else's or not, you know? People experience things differently than others do everyday. You can't compare what one person feels about something to how someone else feels about it.

    I have autism. So, I know that maybe I'm not as far worse as most people who are on the severe end of the spectrum. That doesn't mean I still don't suffer from the same emotional distress that others go through. I have my share of problems just as much as the next person does.I'm not saying my problems are worse, but I want to say that people experience different kinds of pain and suffering for many things, does that make sense? O_o
     
    I agree with the above statements. Though honestly this remark comes to mind when I think of people who complain all the time and then on top of that it never seems to be their fault for why everything in their life is just so shitty. I've dealt with people like that before and it is exhausting after a while.
     
    complaining is fun
    and healthy
     
    Thank the stars you weren't born 100 years ago in Europe.

    I oft complain because there's nothing to talk about, so I don't know if that counts or not. Probably, but it's mostly to myself so. . .
     
    I've personally never been a fan of the remark. Yes, other people have it worse. No, that doesn't make your problems seem smaller than they are. I've always found the remark to be quite insensitive, and even rude- it's like telling people they can't be sad, or that their reasoning is stupid. One "friend" telling this to another is the same as him/her disregarding the sad friends feelings, which definitely isn't right in any sense of the word.
     
    Complaining is a toxic habit, to be honest. I used to complain a lot, but now I've learned that complaining does absolutely nothing but make you a more negative person and waste time.
    If you can change something you don't like, change it. Don't complain about it.
    If you can't change something you don't like, then don't complain about it. Complaining isn't going to change it either.
     
    I find that venting and complaining could be quite therapeutic. Sometimes people just want to bitch about things they cannot change and they have every right to.

    I've been homeless and without food, but you better believe I can still be unhappy over stupid things. We're human and we hate when shit goes wrong. No need to make others feel like bigger asses when they express themselves over it.

    My only issue about complaining is when it's over things that can absolutely be fixed without much effort. But I won't compare their lives to those of third-world countries, because they have absolutely nothing in common.
     
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    Any kind of wording that brushes off someone's suffering is wrong in my opinion. Everyone handles situations differently and its about time that everyone comes to realise this. It's not about whether they have the worst possible situation, it's about helping them through their own worst times.
    Also, if this logic was true then only the singular most unfortunate person would be allowed to complain, which is ludicrous.
     
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    I hate this saying. It's like saying

    "Someone has it better than you do, so don't be grateful."

    It's a stupid idea to measure an objective idea such as happiness or despair by the standard of your peers. Measure it instead by where you are, where you came from, and where you want to be. No one feels the same about any given issue and it's impossible to determine how any one person can feel about events that transpired. Just because you were able to easily deal with an issue you faced doesn't mean someone else will have as easy of a time dealing with it. If it is something subjective like who is faster, taller, has more money then of course that is a good to measure that in comparison to your peers--it's concrete and clear cut, as opposed to something like happiness which is highly dependent on a complex mixture or factors.
     
    I can't stand that phrase.

    As others have said, the situation that others around the world are in has no bearings on you and it shouldn't nullify your feelings
     
    You know, this topic reminds me of this complaint, to which the argument follows the same comparison as this. If you're complaining about hating the world because no one understands you and view everyone as crud because your favorite hobbies are being "tarnished" by movie/game corporates, then your childhood has already been ruined, thus justifying that the argument that there are people who had it much worse than your first-world problems.
     
    It was like the time I was without a job for 4 years. I find it to be damn insulting, considering that I could have ended up on the streets through lack of acquiring a job. At the time I didn't care for anyone else; get yourself out of the hole first before you help get someone else out of their holes.
     
    I've never told someone this, but it is something I live my own life by. I find it hard to really complain about anything when I know someone, especially (mainly) if they're close to me who has it so so much worse. I'm not exactly sure why I do it, to be frank, but it's more of an instinctive thing for me.
     
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