As usual, it is all a conspiracy. The Pokemon Mansion is a breeding ground for grimer, which, when allowed to grow to frightening numbers, can raise an entire city. The youngsters are actually some of the ditto that reside in the mansion who are trying to become trainers that can beat Blaine. Once Blaine is defeated by a mere youngster, he will loose his self confidence and have to "find himself" away from Cinnabar. This would give the grimer a chance to attack the city with little to no resistance. The burglars are prisoners, trying to buy themselves freedom by finding valuble objects located in the mansion. They are prisoners of the scientists, who are the ones behind the whole plot. Once the island is clear off all buildings and inhabitants, they will have enough room to build the biggest amusement park for children in existence. The young ones will flock from across Kanto, becoming easy prey for the gang of grimers. Then, the only kids left will be the ones who never go outside because they are being forced by their parents to practice the "french horn" or some other mythical "instrument". In fact, I doubt their are any "instruments" to begin with, but that is another theory for another time. After this, the new generation will consist of "musicians" only, which are also commonly known as "slaves". How else would they have been forced to play the "piccilo" instead of going outside to commit acts of minor vandelism with their friends. The scientists will easily gain control of the slaves and use them to spread the now inbred grimers across all of Kanto while the scientists stay relatively from harms way. These deficient grimers will then encourage the other pokemon to adopt these ways, and over time all pokemon will be exactly the same. What will they turn into... bidoof. Thousands and thousands of bidoof, swarming over all that stands in their way until nothing remains. The scientist, who are now fairly aged and beginning to deminish, will be able to complete their life's goal at last. They will deploy the "musicians" and "burglars" on one last mission: To construct an arena that covers all of Kanto. Then, the remaining humans will be sent into mortal combat against the swarm of bidoof. Yes, that is the goal of the scientists, to watch as millions upon millions of inbred bidoof get their faces smashed in by people who suffer from poor living conditions. And that concludes the story of Pokemon Mansion.
What did we learn today, Mr. Person?
Well, we learned that scientists are people just like you and I, even though they use big words and wear clothes that must been devised by communist sadists. They hate bidoof just like us, but they are much more eccentric. We also learned that "musical instruments" are just an urban legend used to frighten small children and some species of elk. We also learned that I may or may not have an unhealthy habit of drinking large quantities of beer before posting. Most importantly of all, we learned to believe in ourselves and be courageous. Otherwise, the same fait that befell Blaine would happen to us as well and the world woud be turned into a giant colleseum run by nerds.
Notice: I realize that this post could be offensive to some slaves. I would like to let you know that I think "musicians" are a nice, industrious people with questionable taste in fashion. In fact, it has been proven by scientists (which we can trust, because they are people too) that godzilla has never appeared even once while there was a musician around. This can also be said for books, candles, golf clubs, rassberries, and some species of lawyer, but that is besides the point. Have a nice day!
